pemsylvania:

proton, neutron, electron and crouton 

gay8:

riddle me this atheists: if god isn’t real then who is inside the kleenex box pushing up the next tissue

snow-anne:

king-for-a-vagina:

benedicttcumberbatchh:

carryonmy-assbutt:

sassygayklavierspieler:

fandombarf:

alexander2539:

fandombarf:

There’s a dollar in my g string

THAT IS YOUR D STRING. G IS ALL THE WAY ON MY LEFT.

EXCUSE ME you uncultured swine. That IS my G string. LEFT TO RIGHT IT’S: C G D A ON A CELLO. And if you notice the dollar is wonderfully tucked in my G STRING.
DO NOT DOUBT MY SIX YEARS OF EXPERIENCE.

FUCKING VIOLINISTS

THEY’RE NOT CALLED VIOLINISTS THEY’RE CALLED CELLISTS

IT,WAS THE VIOLINIST THAT THOUGHT IT WAS THE WRONG STRING JESUS CHRIST

This is just one massive train wreck

String players can be a bit high-strung.

Petition to rid the world of violinists.

Dating Advice

thenightvalepost:

If you are in a same sex relationship and someone asks, “Who is the man and who is the woman?” be sure to laugh and tell them, “Neither,” before you reveal your leathery wings that tower over their quivering mortal beings. Don’t stop laughing until you breathe fire. Keep laughing, inform them you are both neither man nor woman. Then reveal that you are both literally same sex dragons. 

so i wanted to start a revolution

sorry-so-sorry:

so obviously i went on omegle looking for potential revolutionaries

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ok let me try again 

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what

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that’s not exactly what i was looking for but

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um

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dang i thought i was getting somewhere

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yES I HAVE FOUND SOMEONE TO JOIN IN MY CRUSADE

sweet-words-of-horror:

attackofthepartycannon:

youcantfakeithardenoughtoplease:

I choked on my water.

la-la is the only one who notices wow

Jfc this is great

pleasestopbeingsad:

things life is too short for:
- hating yourself
- pretending to laugh at “jokes” that are actually just bigoted statements
- not singing along to your favorite songs
- waiting hours to text someone back just to look cool
- bad coffee
- bad books
- mean people
- body shaming
- letting other people dictate your life
- larry’s storyline

earthdad:

hello ma’am i came a long way to give u a flower and to tell u how pretty u r today

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castiel-knight-of-hell:

invisiblefemmeofcolor:

fegeleh:

highgayden:

"no homo" the teenage boy whispers as he pulls away from kissing his friend. he gently strokes the other males face "full bi" he adds in a sensuous tone.

FULL BI

I’m crying

can that be abbreviated FBI?

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roundtop:

perfunctory:

it’s so cute when you talk to someone a lot and then you notice the little phrases that you use and the stupid little things you say slipping into their vocabulary more and more

slimedeath:

what am i supposed to talk about with people who dont watch tv shows

sarahtheartiste:

HOLY FUCK

THEY ACTUALLY DID IT

P